I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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