Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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