i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
