The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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