Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
