omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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