I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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