I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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