Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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