dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
