so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
