The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
