I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
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