i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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