is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
