You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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