Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
