The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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