Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
BRING THE BAGELS
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
