My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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