You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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