Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
