my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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