your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This house was built for laser tag.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
ok first of all what the fuck
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
