Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
