An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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