Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
