considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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