How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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