we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I AM VODKA MAN
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
