Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize