I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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