i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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