Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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