it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
