3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
