when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
