I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize