You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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