you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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