I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
