ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
