theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
