Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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