So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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