You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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