we made out on top of his cat.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
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