i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
