question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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