I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
