I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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