His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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