I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
