I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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