My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
