Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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