the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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