There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
