We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
