I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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