absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
