You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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