Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
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