I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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