turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
