thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize