Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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