Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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