No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
